at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
