I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
