I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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