Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
