so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
