I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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