sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
