sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
