So drunk its hurt
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
