His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
