i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am naked and annoyed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
