i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
