A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
