I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
