Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
then he tried to convert me to islam
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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