C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
