Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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