I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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