He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
