Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
