Girls should come with a carfax report
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
