I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
