I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
