Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
