Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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