ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
