Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
