plz talk dirty to me
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
