All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
