just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
