I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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