Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
