Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
