I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
