His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
