No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
