Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
