Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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