If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
