When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
