I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
MIDGETS
????
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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