I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
