How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is it penis luge time yet?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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