id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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