I look better un-naked...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
