Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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