I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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