You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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