you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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