8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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